his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
