woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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