Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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