it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
