so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
