we made out on top of his cat.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
