you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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