I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
