Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize