I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
