I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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