covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
