I will die if light touches me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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