it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
