Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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