Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
