We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize