Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize