Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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