i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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