I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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