i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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