Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
