Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
