YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
this just has baby written all over it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
