I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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