he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
