I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
