You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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