thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
