hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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