How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize