So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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