just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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