$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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