He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
