Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
