Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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