CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
