You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
