And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
