Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
