quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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