Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
