how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
