how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize