i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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