I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't deserve a penis
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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