If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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