The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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