Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
