So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
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