What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
only you would photoshop your dick
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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