i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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