His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
