Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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