She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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