Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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