the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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