He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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