I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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