I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sarcasm needs its own font
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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